Truth Or Dare?
by TRlove
Summary: The most random story on this list: what are a bunch of bored vampires going to do at 12am? Not what your thinking...PERVERT.
1. Truth or dare?

**Ill just take on peoples examples and say I don't own anything OK?**

It was 12 am and the cullens were lazing around in the living room, chatting quietly amongst themselves

when Emmett jumped up suddenly, groaning.

"I AM SO BORED!" he yelled

"Then entertain yourself!" Edward replied icily, turning back to look into Bella's fading red eyes.

"BUT I CANT!" he moaned, Rosalie opened her mouth in offence, Alice rolled her eyes at her reaction and jumped up from Jaspers lap.

"Truth or dare?" she chimed suddenly.

A big grin spread across Emmett's face

"Dare!" he challenged. Jasper could feel the emotions radiating from the others, surprise, excitement, slight annoyance.

Alice smiled mischievously.

"I dare you to…Visit Charlie and tell him that you have replaced Edward and Bella is now yours"

"Whoa!" Jasper exclaimed as he felt the sudden fury from Edward, he put his hand on his shoulder and soothed him down…slightly.

Emmett grinned wider and looked at Bella, who was glaring at Alice.

"Lets do it!" Emmett said, and he shot out the door , quickly followed by Alice, Jasper and Bella.

Edward sat for a while, annoyed.

_Im going to kill Alice thought Rose, Edward nodded and smirked, then disappeared out the door. To be closely stalked by Rosalie._

_Once at Bella's old house Emmett got into Charlies cruiser and put the sirens on, waking him up. Bella could hear his agitated groan in the house. They all could._

_The Cullens except Emmett and Bella all fled, hiding in the near by forest and peeking out through the soft leaves. Emmett wrapped his arm around Bella's waist, smirking at the snarl he heard from Edward._

_The door to the house opened slowly._

"_Bella? Emmett? What are you doing here?" Charlie asked_

"_WE have an announcement" said Emmett_

_Charlie raised one eyebrow and gestured that they continue._

"_WE CAUGHT EDWARD, JASPER AND ROSE HAVING A THREESOME AND NOW BELLA AND I ARE TOGETHER!" Emmett blurted out._

_Back in the bushes Edward was about to rip Emmett's head off when a restraining hand fell on his shoulder. _

"_Trust me I feel as angry as you do and…oh who am I kidding? He took it too far! Kick his ass!" He laughed._

_Edward rolled his eyes and kept watching outside, He couldn't ruin the look on Charlies face, it was priceless._

"_YOU CAUGHT THEM WHAT? WHEN? HOW!?" Charlie screeched, ripping at his hair._

_Bella moved forward to comfort her dad, she was trying not to laugh_

"_Just then dad, we are getting married tomorrow, and gonna adopt little babies and name them weird names, like Reneesme or….Charlisle"_

"_You mean Carlisle?"_

"_No, Charlisle"_

_Charlie sighed and suddenly turned and trudged back inside, thinking he was dreaming._

_Once Charlie couldn't see them anymore everyone gathered on the lawn, laughing._

"_Right!" Piped Emmett "Jasper!"_

_Jasper looked up._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Truth or dare?"_

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_DUN DUN DUN I have never felt more immature in my life! Nor have I ever written a more immature little story. BUT HEY! What else is there to do when your sick and your hands hurt with every movement?_


	2. Stupid girls and their hormones

"_Truth or dare?"_

Jasper pondered for a minute before deciding on dare

"dare!" he said

Emmett thought for a minute, and decided to use Jaspers gift against him.

"I heard Jessica Stanley is having a slumber party…"Emmett started "Go over there, without a shirt and stay for at LEAST 10 minutes"

Jasper scoffed

"Or?"

"Or….we get to shave your lovely blond curls"

Jasper raised his eyebrows, then nodded

"Okay"

He suddenly felt the pride of Emmett and the shock from Alice, she shook him by the shoulders

"Ah you mad!?" she roared "You wont last FIVE minutes in there! And your hair is she sexiest part of you!"

Jasper sent a wave of calm to her

"Relax" he mumbled.

Alice stepped away and looked at Emmett

"Your future is very dim" she threatened harshly. Emmett cleared his throat and looked down

"Well Jasper? Lead the way to Jessica's" he said

Jasper smirked and disappeared, the others followed right behind.

Jasper stopped right outside Jessica's house. The car was out of the driveway, meaning her parents weren't home.

"Lets do this" Jasper said just as he heard a new song on the CD player in Jessica's room play. Followed by giggles.

"Wait!" Edward said "aren't you forgetting something?"

"Vampires don't forget, just avoid" Jasper replied curtly, then sighed and hesitantly lifted his shirt over his head.

"That's hot" Alice mumbled making Emmett laugh.

Jasper could feel that Bella and even Rose agreed.

Jasper straightened his shoulders and knocked on the door, instantly the giggles died down and quiet murmuring took its place. The Cullens laughed from where they were hiding.

Inside the house a group of about eight girls looked around at each other

"Who could it be?"

"Did you invite anyone else Jess?"

"Maybe it's that hot pizza guy, anyone order pizza?"

Lauren sighed.

"Ill get it!" she volunteered.

The other girls trailed behind.

Lauren stuck her hip out in an attempt to be sexy as she opened the door. She gasped as she saw Jasper standing there.

"The time you took to open the door counts as a minute OK?" Jasper asked

Lauren just stared dumbfounded until Jessica stepped forward.

"Hey Jasper!" she said enthusiastically. "What are you doing here"

"Uh….I…heard you were having a party so…I just…came?"

Jessica saw pain flicker across his face, like he didn't wanna be there.

"Jasper?" Angela asked softly "…Do you need a shirt?"

Jasper looked behind him as if he was checking with someone else.

"damn" he mumbled "No thank you"

Jessica followed Jasper down the hall, leading him to her room with the other exited girls behind him.

He couldn't help shuddering every now and then at the feeling radiating from the girls.

Jessica offered him a seat on her bed

"So where are the others?" she asked him, slowly inching forward to him every second

"Closer than you think" he replied, running a hand trough his hair.

He could almost feel what Jessica was thinking, what all the other girls were thinking except one, Angela and her innocent mind were miles away, he felt her worry. Probably about her brothers.

Suddenly Lauren jumped up

"Hey I know!" she yelled

_Please, please don't say…_

"Lets play truth or dare!"

_DAMNIT! FDJHCUNDSFHGDUHDU!!!!_

"Jasper" Lauren begun "Truth or dare?"

Jasper sighed. He hated Emmett, _that's 5 minutes _he thought.

Jasper hadn't even noticed the burning in his throat until Lauren appeared inches from his face and he caught a whiff of her breath.

"Well?" she asked "Truth or dare?"

"Truth" He said as he shuffled away from her so that he wouldn't have to kill everyone in the room.

Lauren sent a wave of disappointment him Jasper direction.

"How many girls have you kissed?" she asked flirtatiously.

Jasper stood up _that's 7 minutes_

"None of your business!"

That seemed to do something to Lauren, she grabbed on to his cold wrist and pulled him down to her face.

"Tell me" she breathed. Jasper instantly stopped breathing. He shook her off and straightened himself. Suddenly Jessica was there, hands on his chest. _eight minutes_

She smelt of alcohol

"Urgh you have so been drinking!" he exclaimed

"Just a beer or two from my dads liquor cabinet" she giggled

Jasper sighed and was about to send a wave of sadness though the room, hoping that since they were drunk, teenage girls, it would distract them, when some other girl stood up and grabbed Jessica by the shoulders, pulling her back.

"So…Jasper, you doing anything tomorrow night?" she asked _9 minutes_

"_uh…yes"_

"_Damn rejected"_

_IN the last 30 seconds Jasper had, he sent a tsunami of fatigue through the room and the girls dropped like dead flied onto their pillows_

"…_Awkward" Jasper said and he slowly turned and walked out the door._

"_Emmett…YOU ARE GOING TO DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH!" Jasper snarled when he got outside, picking up his dumped shirt and putting it back on._

_Emmett grinned, along with the others. Except Alice._

_Feeling her annoyance he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead. _

"_I am so going to wear something sexy and outshine those bitches on Monday" She growled._

_Jasper smiled._

"_Rose" he said_

"_NO way!"_

"_Truth or dare?"_


	3. Rosalie's disgusting truth

"Truth or dare?"

As Rosalie glared at jasper, she pouted and stuck out her hip.

"This is to get back at Emmett" Jasper laughed.

Emmett wiped that stupid grin off his face instantly. Jasper stopped for a while, waiting

"Well?" He asked impatiently.

"Truth!" Yelled Rosalie

"Serious? Just ruin the fun why don't you" Jasper sighed as he took a couple of steps forward. "If you lie though you have to…I don't know…Bella gets to completely give you a new wardrobe"

Bella looked offended.

"Sorry Bella but your fashion sense stinks" said Alice. Bella glared at Alice and Rose glared at Jasper.

"Harsh, but agreed" Rosalie said.

"How many times have you cheated on Emmett?"

Emmett craned his neck toward Rosalie, then Jasper, then Rosalie again.

Rose bit her lip and looked down.

"Never" she whispered.

Jasper nodded and looked towards Edward for confirnation

Edward had read Rosalie's mind, and it was true.

"WHOA SERIOUS? BUT WERENT YOU LIKE, ALL OVER EDWARD BEFORE EMMETT SHOWED UP? AND ABOUT 10000 GUYS HAVE HIT ON YOU AND--"

"Alice shut up!" Yelled Rose "I'm not proud of it"

Emmett ran to Rose.

"Wow Rose I'm impressed, I thought it would be like…heaps. Coz I mean…I've done it plenty of times"

"Oh really? that's nice"

Alice stared at the two lovers, appalled at the casual conversation going on.

"So you like…don't care!?" she cried "YOU want to cheat on each other? Your slutty psychopaths!" she threw her hands up in defeat.

Jasper was frowning._well this sucks_ he though bitterly

"That wasn't as much fun as I thought it would be" he mumbled in annoyance, then he turned to Rose.

"Your turn"

"OK Edward, truth or dare?"

xoxoxoxoxooxoxox

WHAT? LIKE, THE SHORTEST CHAPTER EVER! well you cant really make chapter long if its truth, and it cant all be dare.

NO WORRIES THOUGH COZ I HATE TRUTH ANYWAY MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


	4. Stupid Wheelchairs

Edward sighed hypocritically

"I'm only watching for something to do, not playing"

Rosalie frowned slightly and her eye twitched.

"EDWARD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST FREAKIN PLAY YOU FUN SUCKING LEECH!" she screeched suddenly, making everyone jump.

"OK OK FINE!" said Edward "Dare"

Rosalie smiled, all sweet and happy again.

"OK! I dare you to go to Jacob Blacks house, steal his dads wheelchair and take it for a joyride off the cliff Bella" she stuck her thumb over her shoulder "jumped off."

Emmet and Jasper grinned. Bella gasped, Alice smiled.

"I saw that coming" she giggled.

Edward scoffed.

"Aren't we banned from the reservation?" Edward questioned.

"Well.." started Bella " After Jacob imprinted on Renesmee all the wolves were like OMGZ WE CANT KILL HER NOW and went the hell away. It worked out quite nicely" she smiled in remembrance.

"Hey where is Renesmee? She hasn't been in the story yet"

"I left her in the bath"

"Its probably cold by now"

"Meh"

Jasper sighed loudly and grabbed Alice around the waist.

"Can we get on with it?" he asked quieter now.

"Right" mumbled Edward "Lets just go"

Rosalie smirked and took off in a run.

Once at the reservation the Cullens slowed to a stop in front of Jacobs house.

Emmet sniffed the air and shuddered

"I think im going to puke up blood, it totally smells here"

"HEY!" Bella defended "Im still friends with Jacob you know"

"Yeah I know but still…"

Edward sighed and tried the front door to the house, surprisingly it was open.

"Very nice" Edward mumbled as he walked inside.

As Edward passes Jacob's tiny room he glanced at the window and laughed when he saw the whole Cullen Clan peaking through the window. Jasper grinned and Emmet gave him the thumbs up.

Luckily Billy left his wheelchair in the small lounge room, Edward silently crept past, grabbed it and wheeled it back out the door, giving Rosalie evils and he walked past.

Quickly he jumped on and got comfy.

"Hey this thing is nice, I might get the voltori to rip my legs off so I can have one!" Edward joked

"Why don't you swipe one from the hospital?" asked Rosalie

"Coz Carlisle will kill me"

"Oh, Right, Carilisle"

Emmett laughed and begun pushing the chair from behind, Edward pointed dramatically

"TO THE CLIFF!" he called heroically and shot off with Emmett holding the chair handles.

But Emmett didn't hesitate at the cliff like everyone had imagined, he just kept running and laughing, pushing Edward and making him fly off the cliff about 500meters out.

Everyone heard him land with a splash in the frothy water.

Bella instinctively reacted.

"Oh god! Edward!" she screamed

"Oh relax, he'll be fine, Alice can see that. He doesn't need to breath remember?" Soothed Jasper as he sent waves of calm to Bella.

"Oh snap" Emmett mumbled so softly that they could barely hear.

Suddenly Edward appeared from over the cliff, dripping yet and snarling, but laughing too.

"EMMETT I WILL KILL YOU, AND YOU LITTLE DOG TOO!" Edward screeched. "But I have to admit, that was AWESOME! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID WEREWOLF!"

"werewolf?" came a husky voice from the forest nearby. "God leeches, you better not be doing anything stupid"

Bella grinned but everyone else sighed and looked annoyed.

"Oh hey dog!" said Edward "come to join the funeral then?"

Jacob marched out of the trees, wearing nothing but a pear of track pants. Even the guys swooned at his body, which was like…really really buff and dark and *drool* (even though im totally team Jasper)

Jacob smiled and looked out to the sea

"Um…what were you doing with my dads only mode of transport?" he asked

"Its dead" replied Edward icily.

Alice giggled timidly and walked over to Jacob.

"three…two….RUN EVERYONE RUN!" she screamed before disappearing with Edward and Bella, Edward yanking Bella by the arm roughly, with Bella complaining loudly.

Just as everyone disappeared into the bushes Jacob started trembling wildly…but then stopped and shrugged.

"He'll live" he mumbled as he walked back into the dense forest


	5. stupid straying off the topic

As the Cullens re emerged from the bushes, finallly sure that Jacob had given up, they slowed to a stop.

"WOOH THAT WAS FUN-O-LICIOUS!" whooped Alice and she jumped into the air, punching around.

"OK!" said Edward, wiping the last drops of water from his forehead, "Alice truth or dare?"

Alice pondered for a moment. "Truth"

Edward silently cursed, knowing it was coming anyway after reading Alice's mind. 

"But thats pointless!" he whined "i already know what the outcome will be if i ask you a question, so do you. i wanna see you do something!"

Alice smirked and crossed her arms stubbornly, glancing over at everyone else uneasily. "Fine bitch!" she said "DARE!"

" I dare you too....walk around Forks wearing a sign and screaming "THE END IS NIGH! VAMPIRES WILL KILL US ALL! AAAHHHHHH!"

"No"

"yes"

"No"

"Puck you Alice i know your going to do it! and so do you!"

"Crap you to hell Edward"

"All this weak swearing is going to make my ears bleed!" Emmett yelled, throwing his hands up in the air "Frick!"

"Emmett! watch your bad-bad language! your cotton headed ninny muffin!" Rose scolded.

"Shut the puck up you silly billys!" Bella said

"Make me skank!" snapped Rose as she lunged for Bella. Alice's eyes widened as she jumped in the middle, trying to break them up before they tore each others heads off, quite literally.

Edward shrieked like a girl as Emmett and Jasper whooped and cheered. Without warning Bella was on Rose, pulling her hair and Alice was behind Bella, trying to pull her off.  Edward suddenly intervened, shirt coming off the the process (i can see you mentally imagining it...PERVERT). He slowly pried Bella off Rose, but got tackled by Alice for pushing her away. suddenly Jasper and Emmett didnt find it so hot anymore.

"ALRIGHT BREAK IT UP YOU PANSIES!" Jasper screamed, shocking all of them apart. "ALICE! TRUTH OR FUCKING DARE!"

Alice exhaled and adjusted her hair, which was now pointing everywhere. "I said dare"

"Oh right...NOW DO IT!"

Alice pouted, turned sharply on her heels and marched the other way, towards Forks.

Sure it was like, 2am but the pub was always full of drunken idiots that were fun to rev up. fankly all you had to do was wear something sexy, be fat, or yell out PENIS while standing in the busiest spot to make something interesting happen. last time Jasper had beaten up some guy who promised to take Alice to a ball if he one the fight...well he didnt. 

OOOHHHHHH MYSTERIOUS FLASHBACK

_"Ok but if i win i get to take her..." he guestured drunkenly at Alice "To a ball, because every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball"_

_"Really?" Alice asked, her face softening "thats so sweet"_

_it pretty much went downhill from that. Let me explain super hero style_

_*hero music* _

_BAM_

_SMASH_

_WHAM!_

OOH RETURN FROM FLASHBACK OMG LIKE SCARY ANIME

"Wait isnt what something from Yes Man?" Rose said thoughtfully.

"sshh dont tell anyone" Alice said

"ok, now get on with the plot of the story!" Edward said, as he steered Alice towards to pub they had arrived at during the flashback, and Alice the the sign they had made over her head and waltzed in.

"FIFIUNIJBTFHDJGHFUJ!" she screamed "THE END IS NIGH! VAMPIRES WILL SUCK OUT BLOOD LIKE THE SEXY  CULT BEASTS THEY ARE"

All the chatter stopped and everyone stared at Alice. 

"......HOOGA BOOGA!" she shrieked.

All the drunk guys just shrugged and turned around again.

Alice stood awkwardly in the middle of the floor, all the other Cullens cracking with laughter from the doorway.

"ALL THAT BLOODY LEAD UP JUST FOR ONE PARAGRAPH OF WHAT THE CHAPTER IS ABOUT!?"

Jasper noticed her pissed off-ness and couldnt help but laugh.

"Relax Alice, we could always save that sign for....later..."he trailed off suggestively.

Emmett laughed and took the sign off Alice. 

"its fine sis, drunken hicks dont give much of a crap about people saying that the world is ending. There just gonna die anyway"

With a slight scowl, Alice turned to Emmett.

"Truth or dare?"

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Well that chapter was complete trash, and very off :P not in the mood for dares all that much. meh.


	6. Stupid saying stupid in every chapter

To make sense of this chapter you need to read the previous one MK.?????

ok yah....super short but whatever...

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"...But i'v already...." Emmett trailed off as he saw Bella making wild ILL KILL YOU! Gestures over Alice's shoulder. "Gone..." he finished hesitantly

Alice looked back to see Bella standing innocently behind her, looking around with her lips pursed, But her eyes were dark. (not vampire dark, metaphor dark)

"I suddenly fear my life" Emmett confided sadly.

"OK, BELLA YOU BITCH TRUTH OR DARE" Said Alice

"..TRUTH! DARE IS OUTWEIGHING THE TRUTH IN THIS STORY!"

"OK! um....Uh....Oohhh....Do you regret becoming a vampire!?"

Bella blinked, frowned, slapped a mosquito clinging to her arm, blinked again, then said.

"yes, Alice i totally regret becoming a vampire, I totally wish i were still human so i could pee, get knocked up, almost die all the freakin time, and be stalked by a psychotic werewolf who is now desperatly wishing he could bang my few month old daughter....OH GOD I MISS BEING HUMAN!"

Edward, who was idly looking up and counting the stars in the night sky, snapped his head forward. "What?"

The Cullens stood around awkwardly shuffling their feet. While Bella and Edward had a staring competition.

"Hey! Whos up for milkshakes?" Jasper piped up loudly, shattering the awkward silence engulfing them all...Much like a fat kid would engulf cake ( Another Metaphor?)

"yes milkshakes!" Said Alice

"Lets go!"

"I want strawberry!"

Bella started walking off the the rest of the family but Edward glared at her and she stopped.

"...But i want a milkshake"

"You regret becoming a vampire huh?"

"Well i could hardly regret it, i know i was begging you for it for the first few months but when it actually happened it wasnt my choice, ok so maybe having sex with you without some form of contraception was my choice, and so was not getting rid of the kid (who BTW is still in the bath) was also my choice. but i DIDNT ask you to save my life by biting me the crap outta me and injecting a lethal dose of vampire venom into my heart. ok? I DO NOT BELIVE I REQUESTED THAT YOU DO THAT MAN WHORE!"

Edward stood for a while.

"So anyway, i want a banana milkshake!" Bella said, breaking the tension. She started wandering away. (I had something in my mind but got distracted by some dA yaoi ((yay fangirl!)) and forgot)

Edward kept staring, shrugged, mumbled "good point" and walked off after her. Because the author couldnt remember what she was gonna do and ran out of ideas (not that she had many in the first place)

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OMG SHORT CHAPTER! AGAIN! Actually they are all short...but i dont believe i asked your opinion!!!! XD

*Twilight fan girl in background saying "But vampires dont drink milkshakes! they dont drink anything besides blood! bla bla bla* *shoots* (But no, i'm one myself)


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